Hits & Misses of Online Dating

In my last personal post, I wrote on getting back into the dating game as well as the possibility of building an intimate relationship with one of my good friends. Ever since dipping my toes in the water and with my friend – I had discovered, dating can be fun! I missed the intimate companionship, the inside jokes only couples get, and the look of adoration on each others’ face. I really missed it.

I have been single for the past three years and I had completely taken myself off the market. I concentrated on raising my son, worked a bit of freelance gigs, and started a small business (it went kaput – another story, another time maybe). I also started this blog as a means to stay sane while being a stay-at-home mom. It wasn’t until last Christmas that I decided that I wanted to go forth and seek out a mate!

For starters, I don’t go out anymore. I mean, I don’t stay out past 10pm unless it’s a special event or if I’m at the movies. My excuses are 1) I’m a mother of a very young child, 2) I’ve partied it up during my 20s and well into my early 30s – so much so I had a 30-something crisis and had a baby. Well, there’s more to that story, but I’ll delve into it another time. On top of which, going from bar to bar, nightclub to nightclub can be so exhausting. It was definitely fun during my 20s, but spare me. Nowadays, I just want to have a nice dinner (happy hour) with close friends and call it a night. I will also tell you right now, the percentage and success of finding “the one” at a bar or nightclub is (insert arbitrarily low number)%. Unless you’re in it for a one-night stand, to boost your ego + get free drinks, or you’re really that optimistic don’t bother expecting to find him/her on a night where everyone is getting considerably drunk.

I digress. This post is about online dating, right?

I’m a little old fashioned and a little lazy – so I chose Match. I’ve used it before when I met Cassidy, so I stuck with it. Considering Cassidy was a “hit” and not a “miss”. I say that he is a “hit”, because a type of relationship developed from it and he is still my good friend.

In my experience with online dating this year, I have had a few hits and lots of misses. My first date from Match this year was actually a hit, at first. Ken was really cute, a couple of years older than me, and there was a bit of chemistry. We went on three dates and decided we weren’t right for each other. We still text each other occasionally for no apparent reason.

The second person I met on Match was a miss. Joseph was really tall, really cute, also a couple years older, and really into me. So much so, that he always offered to drive me home from work, even though he lived the opposite way. I, however, felt no chemistry with him and had to let this one go.

I also met an ER surgeon. He was a major miss for me. We went to have happy hour and I could tell straight off the bat that he was very interested in me. Interested enough to ask me out again. I seemed to have weaseled out of this one.

Other major misses were via messages on Match. I have received some really inappropriate messages or indecent propositions of which I would not respond and block the offenders. There were also some very persistent guys who have messaged me repeatedly in hopes that I would respond someday – these guys actually “stalk” my profile, since Match gives users the option to view who has looked at our profiles.

user – janicecandy: “Does anyone know if Match is down? There’s this guy I’m seeing and I want to know if he’s seeing someone else, since you can see when and how long they have been online. Hahaha You know everyone does this!”

user – jamesgrayston: “Umm… janicecandy… stalker much?”


These comments were taken from “www.isitdownrightnow.com”. Yes, people stalk on Match and can view when you’ve been online or how long you have been off the website. Please don’t behave like janicecandy.

During one point I quit Match and went to eHarmony for one week. EHarmony, so I’ve heard, are for people who are serious about looking for a long-term relationship. I did, indeed meet a … um … hit/miss. Well, inconclusive. I say this because we still text and, at times, when I see him now and then I still feel there’s something there, an attraction, but I’ve been hesitant to start anything with him again.

One thing about eHarmony, though, is that it is very structured and limited. People can look at this as a positive or negative. For instance, it doesn’t allow you to browse through profiles as freely as Match does. You also have to go through a hurdle of multiple choice questions and essay text fields with a potential date before you’re allowed to “email” them.

After dating Mr. Inconclusive for a couple of months (hey, I have a new name for him! Better than the one I was calling him before, Big D – no, it isn’t what you’re thinking, get your mind out of the gutter!), I went back on Match and the weirdest thing happened. Almost every guy I encountered was named Chris or Christopher. I wasn’t sure what the universe was trying to tell me, but apparently I was going to meet a Chris whether I liked it or not. And a Chris I had met… a heartache ensued.

Ah… another time, another place, another story.

There are some ups and downs to online dating – and dating, in general. All you can do is prepare yourself to prevent a roller-coaster of emotions. However, always have fun, never expect anything from the person you just met (trust me, it will save you from wondering why he hasn’t called you or text messaged you), and set your boundaries. Always go into dating knowing what your values are and stick with them. Never settle for anyone less, even if he is a charmer and makes you think you are their world. Also, if he doesn’t call you back or ask you out again, just know that he was not the one for you – there are 7 billion people on this planet and there is one who is right for you.

Did you enjoy this post? What’s your experience with online dating?


SANO Naturals Vitamin C Serum + Eye Cream Gel

I received Sano Naturals Vitamin C Serum + their Vitamin C Eye Cream Gel recently. And right on time! Let’s just say my eye bags have been sagging a bit and I was about to turn to my friend Christine, of Simply Stine, to ask for a recommendation. I’ll probably still ask her, but decided to try the gel product first.

A little bit about Sano Naturals, they try to use all natural ingredients and never harmful ones like: sodium lauryl sulphate, propylene glycol and triclosan – which are, apparently, used in engine degreasers, garage floor cleaners, antifreeze and brake fluid! Now knowing this, it doesn’t sound like I want those ingredients seeping into my pores anymore! Yikes!


So, I’ve never tried any type of Vitamin C serum before, and I was really excited to see what this can do for me. According to their website, Vitamin C can:

– Stimulate collagen production
– Dramatically reduce the visible signs of aging, fine lines & wrinkles
– Provide UV protection
– Neutralize free radicals

What makes Sano Naturals Vitamin C serum different from other serums? The answer is water content. When you look at the ingredient list, there is virtually no aqua listed on there. This isn’t a watered down product which can render vitamin C ineffective due to oxidation from H2O.

I’ve been using this on my face only and for two weeks. The serum, itself goes on light. I have been using it during the mornings and evenings. At first, I wasn’t sure if it was working. During the second week I’ve noticed my skin tone evening out, it’s becoming a little less blotchy, and it is also feels a lot softer + smoother.

The Vitamin C Gel for Face and Eyes is fantastic! This product is for –

– Reducing dark under eye circles, puffiness & wrinkles
– Stimulate collagen production
– Neutralize free radicals and repair tissue

I only use this for my eyes. It feels nice and cool, absorbs quickly, and has fast results! I’ve witnessed some major puffy luggages underneath my eyes as of late, which I am going to blame on my age. In less than 30 seconds, I’ve noticed a decrease in puffiness. As for wrinkles, well… I don’t have a lot of wrinkles around my eyes, so I can’t tell you if this is working. I can only say, that I am hoping this is preventing wrinkles!

Do I recommend this product?

Yes! For both of these products, it is $18.95 and you can purchase the product here from Amazon. They use natural and organic ingredients instead of harsh human-made chemicals. I like that both products absorb quickly and it doesn’t leave any type of greasy residue. I’m also noticing skin improvements, although slowly (hey, we can’t all have instant gratification) but surely. I’m excited to see more positive results as I continue to use this.

* I received one or more of the products mentioned above for free using Tomoson.com. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers.

Friend Zoned

With this post, I decided to introduce a new subject into my blog. Dating. I’m about to get very personal.

I’ve been single for three years and a child in tow. I thought it would be nice to, you know, get back out there! Check out the meat market. Throw myself into the game. Let me tell you: The game can be fun, it can be mean, but most of all… it can be disappointing. I’m hoping, through these dating stories that you will be entertained and that I will have learned something from each date. So here goes:

As the title states, “Friend Zoned.”

In popular culture, friend zone refers to a platonic relationship wherein one person, most commonly a man, wishes to enter into a romantic or sexual relationship, while the other does not.” – Many contributors on Wiki

I have a friend, who happens to be a male named…Cassidy. When we first met, we were both on Match.com and I also had a baby in the oven, as I was 8 weeks pregnant. At that moment in my life, I was toying with the idea of dating, but I wasn’t completely on board with the idea. My friends told me, “No, you shouldn’t stop living your life because you’re pregnant!” I often think my so-called “conservative-Republican” friends may be a bit too liberal sometimes. Isn’t that always the case? And vice versa.

As I was saying, I met Cassidy via Match and during summertime. Our first “date” was at a sushi restaurant, where we ate outside. He was very quiet. I later found out that he was nervous, but he said because I was so engaging that I made him feel a bit more comfortable. I also told him that I was pregnant.

I remember, that after we finished our food, I asked if he was interested in going to a gay nightclub. Yes, I asked this very quiet and very straight male if he was interested in going to a gay nightclub. I said, “One of my friends has a dance group. It’s fabulous! They’re doing a tribute to Britney Spears and it’ll be super fun to watch!” Strangely, he agreed to it. (You can watch the performance here, and it’ll be as if you’re reliving my first date with Cassidy!) We still joke about going to CC Slaughters on our first date.

When the evening ended, he gave me a hug and we went on our way. A week later, we went on another date and then another. After the third date, he said, he couldn’t date me anymore because he couldn’t get over the fact that I was pregnant with someone else’s child. I told him that I completely understood and I was never expecting him to be comfortable with it. From then on, we because friends and, later we became good friends. He was the last person I went out on dates with.

So here we are, 3 years later. One evening as we were text messaging back and forth, I messaged, “I think I’m ready to date again. I think I want to try it out.

Well, I was wondering if you were interested in the idea of us dating. It seems to be heading that way, anyways. Or have I been friend zoned…

It took me a while to text back, because frankly… I love Cassidy, but there were some hesitations. I could potentially lose a good friend. I also had other compatibility concerns, and yes he may have been friend zoned already. So, being the negative nelly that I am I responded with –

What if we didn’t work out? What if we break up and stopped being friends.

What if we did workout. We should give it a try, at least.” He responded overly optimistically.

After a few more back and forth texts and a few days for me to “think about things”, we gave it a shot. Despite every single bone in my body telling me that he is not the one.

We lasted 2 weeks. I kept backing out of the relationship, as was he. In the end, we had a weird breakup and we interacted less. Until, finally we went out to dinner about a month later. I tried my very best to act “normal”, whatever that means. We even decided to go to the movies afterwards. Thereafter that evening, things seemed to have sorted out and we went to another movie on another day. And on that day, after the movie, after he walked me to my car, he kissed me.

It was nice, but oh, boy.

We went on another movie “date” and he leaned in to give me a kiss. At that point I said, “I’m kind of dating someone else right now. So we probably shouldn’t kiss anymore.

Oh, yeah. You’re probably right.” Was Cassidy’s response, “So does this mean we can’t go to movies together anymore?

No. I don’t think the guy I’m seeing mind if we go to movies together, actually. But we probably shouldn’t kiss anymore.

What I told him wasn’t far from the truth. I am going on dates in search of someone fit for me. However, friends probably shouldn’t kiss each other – unless you have some prior arrangement, but even then it’s not exactly platonic. It could become messy, too.

An Overview From a Distance: FashioNXT 2014

Featured Picture Photo Credit to Cameron Whitten)

There is one fashion show that I try to attend since it’s beginning. FashioNXT.

The production of FashioNXT began in 2012 by Prasenjlt Tito Chowdhury and his team. Prior to, he was the executive producer of Portland Fashion week from 2006-2011. Each year, Tito and his production team continually impress, improve, and build on the past shows. The shows become grander and more elegant. The designers and talent they bring in are prodigious. You don’t have to take my word for it, click the Vimeo video by Matt Wolcott below.

FashioNXT 2014 from Matt Wolcott on Vimeo

It is with much regret that I could not be in attendance of my favorite show this year. Especially, when it meant missing out on five alums designers from Project Runway. I always did enjoy watching Seth Aaron’s and Michael Costello’s collection during FashioNXT. There were definitely some amazing and brilliant pieces that I would have loved to watch coming down the runway. I will be there next year!

Overview of FashioNXT 2014 | All photographs below were graciously provided by Hal Harrison - Photographer/Owner of Rose City Photography | Facebook | Instagram

Day 1

Lu Yu (Shenzhen, China)
Nganlok (Shenzhen, China)
Song Hong (Shenzhen, China)

Day 2

Amy Sim
Amy Sim
Sonia Kasparian
Sonia Kasparian
Stephanie D Couture
Stephanie D Couture
Myriam Marcela - by Marcela Dyer
Myriam Marcela – by Marcela Dyer
Wendy Ohlendorf
Wendy Ohlendorf

Day 3

Seth Aaron - Black Label, Spring 2015
Seth Aaron – Black Label, Spring 2015
Lenzanita, Spring Men's and Women's Spring 15
Lenzanita, Spring Men’s and Women’s Spring 15
Irina Shabayeva, Spring 15 Couture Collection
Irina Shabayeva, Spring 15 Couture Collection
Michelle Lesniak, Spring 15 Premier
Michelle Lesniak, Spring 15 Premier

Day 4

Walter Collection, Spring 15 Couture Collection
Walter Collection, Spring 15 Couture Collection
Walter Collection, Spring 15 Couture Collection
Walter Collection, Spring 15 Couture Collection
MC & MTCostello by Michael Costello, Spring 2015 Couture Collection
MC & MTCostello by Michael Costello, Spring 2015 Couture Collection

Did you have a favorite? Comment below!